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Posted by: Brygida Elźbieta | on Marzec 9, 2014
I think that my father knew he was about to leave the world. Therefore I want to share with youwhat he told me during one of our last talks. I call it : A message from my dad. It struck me when he was leaving, I read it out during his funeral ceremony, and now I am uploading it on my blog. I think it is what he would have wanted me to do.
My father passed away on 8th May 2011 at the age of 79.
A message from my dad !!!
When he died many people told me that he had been a really loving father and that he was a good man. So, some of you might be shocked at what I am going to tell you.
Not long before he died he had told me that he had wasted his life.
You may be surprised. No financial problems, good jobs, wife, daughter. Some may ask: what to want more ?
Well, yes… What to want more ????
Their marriage, as you may know, was a kind of a tough one; a strong, bossy mum who had cut him off people and the whole world. When she was still alive he had not been in touch even with his closest family. Thinking of fulfilling plans, ambitions, self-development…, it would have been at least inappropriate in his case.
But why did he allow her to suppress him….???
And here is the key to his wasted life. For the sake of being left alone he started to give up slowly. As a result he started to die being alive.
A few years ago, when my mum died, he could not live his life to the limits. His neglected health started to assert my dad’s attention and his dreams were put aside. However, I must admit, there was a sign of progress; he started speaking about his dreams.
One of them was pretty mundane – it was a journey to Siberia, Lake Baikal.
Why do I want to tell you about it ????
I am sure that both his life and one of our last talks should become a reflection that each of you should be themselves and live your lives without giving up your dreams and ambitions.
The dreams which are coming true are part of us, they enrich our life experience as much as obstacles.
The fact that he forced me to promise that I would live my life to the fullest is the evidence that people have a different perspective on life at the moment we feel these are our last days. Then we perceive our life through the perspective of what we have experienced in lifetime and whether we lived in harmony with our hopes and expectations, not through the level of financial status we have achieved.
We have dreams but we do not help them come true, we act not ourselves, we live up to other people’s expectations, but… is it worth doing ….????
One may say : I can’t realise my dreams, I have kids, a house to look after, there are important things to do first.
I know a lot of people who live in harmony with their selves, with their dreams and this way they enrich not only their own lives but also their nearest and dearest’s.
I often hear from others: I am 40, 50, 60 and my life is over, it is too late to think about fulfilling dreams.
Well, at first, you think you are too young, you need to graduate from high school or university, then you are occupied with achieving the tops on your career ladder, you make money, but finally, it appears you are too old.
But life… where is your life ????
So, having reflected on my dad’s life , be yourself, be yourself on any field of your life. Be yourself when you love, be sympathetic, full of empathy and take responsibility for your own life.
Would my father have stopped being a good man, as he was considered to have been, if once in a while he had set out and wandered a bit ?
My mum would probably have nursed a grudge against my dad more often but she did it anyway. Not much would have changed. How much more fulfilled he would have felt…
Sometimes I happen to accuse myself of not having been determined and brave enough to take him to Lake Baikal.
Maybe he would have died during the journey, maybe, but how much happier and richer…. At least he would have been dying while letting one of his biggest dreams come true.
When I say : dreams I mean dreams, dreams straight from your heart, not desires or wants we chase every day but cannot reach. They are such today but tomorrow they are totally different.
I promised him to live my life to the fullest . That is why I will go to Siberia, to Lake Baikal, because it is also my dream, and my father is in my heart together with his unfulfilled dream.
Do not wait until other people will realise your dreams for you, especially your children. Each of us has the right to have their own dreams. Therefore encouraging you to act yourself, to fulfill your own dreams is the message included in my funeral speech for my dad.
On behalf of him, I wish you courage, strength and stubbornness while realizing your own legend.